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Mon, Jan 23, 2012

MizFit Muzings

The other morning I woke up so *firmly* on the right side of the bed it frightened the Tornado & Ren Man.

And, from a woman whos renown for her adoration of all things early morning, that’s saying a lot.

I hadnt slept much (d*mn Austin allergies).

I had a brimming life-plate & work-plate awaiting me.

The house was a diZaster & the sweaty laundry was threatening to take over the domicile.

In summation, there was absolutely no reason for my joyous, happy, energetic, calm, grateful to be ALIVE! mood whatsoever.

I shouted from the rafters how amazingTASTIC I felt quietly informed the husband how fab I felt & let him know his wish was my command.

I tweeted, FBed, emailed everyone in my life detailing how I possessed energy & creativity to share and they should NOT hesitate to tap my voluminous resources.

I felt as though I were capable of absolutely anything and that nothing, no matter how negative or niggling, would ruin my mood.

And, being the misfit I am, I then stepped back and wondered why every day couldnt be like this one?

Or, if it werent as amazawonderful (I do believe we appreciate the FAB as a result of experiencing the SAD), if I could at least teach myself to tap *back* into this feeling on the days where I feel as though EVERYTHING is dominating me.

So I journaled.

I used the exact same tactic I emplyed when I was trying to clean up my eating habits—except in reverse.

Then I recorded how crappy (technical term) I felt after eating certain foods (hello gluten elimination circa 1993) in hopes of rereading, learning & not repeating.

This time I jotted down sentence snippets, adjectives, scents & sounds.

I journaled everything which might help me recall, on those life has *me* by the tail days, how I felt and resurrect those same feelings.

Everything from lungs feel fully inflated & chest wide open to I feel powerful/strong from the inside OUT.

And then I got an email.

You know the kind.

Mine was work-related but it just as easily could have been friendsfamilyorlife-related.

The kind of email which can sap your mojo if you allow it.

And I did.  Briefly. Ephemerally.  Until I remembered my list.

I reread my pages.

I sat, visualized and tapped back into my morning emotions until I was practically where I’d been before (I wont lie to you. it was an almost but better than Id have otherwise felt).

The experience was transformative for me in the same way reading how SHITTY (other technical term) Id felt after eating certain foods lessened their later allure.

That’s my assignment to you today should you choose to accept it.

Don’t comment.

Just Sit. Think. Be. Feel.

Ask yourself when the last was time YOU felt light, optimistic, hopeful, unstoppable?

Journal how those emotions felt, sounded, smelled, tasted etc to YOU?

And no.

You may not (as many an IRL friend tried) seize the easy ‘out’ of “Ive not felt that way in so long I can’t recall.”

Or as one friend insisted: Ive never felt that way.

Challenge yourself.  Think way way way way *way* back.

And, if you still come up happy-empty make today the day you gather the journal & pen and get ready to write when it occurs.

And, if you still come up happy-empty, perhaps indulge a misfit and write about how you imagine the sensation will feel.


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